Don't Give Me a Bird! (PLUS Free Giveaway of My First Chapter)
Cast any stones today?
Given any insults?
Here’s one hurled by an art critic and aimed at Jo, the real-life heroine in my book (Saving Vincent, A Novel of Jo van Gogh) after she defended her brother-in-law Vincent van Gogh when advocating for his art. At the time of this sarcastic letter to the editor, Vincent hadn’t yet been recognized as an amazing artist.
The critic wrote:
Mrs Van Gogh is a charming little woman, but it irritates me when someone gushes fanatically on a subject she knows nothing about, and although blinded by sentimentality still thinks she is adopting a strictly critical attitude. It is schoolgirlish twaddle, nothing more.
What?! Today we know Van Gogh is world-class. That comment makes the critic look a little. . .close-minded might be a nice way to say it.
He’s entitled to his own opinion about whether he likes Vincent’s art, of course, but his comments are aimed at dismissing Jo, insulting and berating her, not explaining what he doesn’t like.
I’ve been thinking about the effects of thought and language on both sides of an argument. If you’re like me, you’ve had some uncomfortable backed-into-a-corner confrontations with those who have opposing views. Because of that, I want to avoid them, but it’s also important to stand up for your own worth and to find the right way to communicate.
This weekend I recalled a metaphor that might help. It’s in the book The Gentle Art of Blessing (Pierre Pradervand).
It’s about the power of thought—more important than ever since ideas give birth to all the rest—but also a warning. Heed the thoughts you send out into the universe for—like a boomerang—they will return to you.
Here’s the tale. See what you think:
Parable of the White and Black Birds
Imagine two facing walls, each filled with small niches housing birds. Black birds represent negative thoughts and words, while white birds symbolize positive ones.
Just as the niches vary slightly in shape, so do the birds, with each bird only able to occupy a niche of its corresponding color and shape.
Let's say Joan harbors resentment towards Other. Consumed by this negativity, she sends a dark thought—a black bird—towards him, freeing a black niche on her wall. This thought-bird flies towards Other’s wall, seeking an empty black niche of its specific shape.
However, if Other doesn't reciprocate with a negative thought of his own (another black bird), Joan's thought-bird finds no resting place. Unable to deliver its negativity, it returns to Joan's wall, back to its original niche, still carrying the negative charge. Instead of harming Other, the unspent negativity rebounds upon Joan! —for negativity never remains inert, especially towards its originator.
However, if Other does respond in kind (within this imagined exchange of thoughts), he creates an empty black niche on his wall. Joan's black bird finds its target, depositing a portion of its negative energy. Simultaneously, Other’s negative thought-bird finds the niche created by Joan's thought, delivering its own negative payload.
Both birds achieve their target, harming the intended recipient.
Yet, after their mission, each bird returns to its original niche, as "all things return to their source." The negativity they carried is not fully depleted, so it returns to its sender, amplified. Thus, the originator of a negative thought, wish, or curse is harmed by both their own returning negativity and the negativity sent by the target.
Ouch!
The same principle applies to white birds, but with positive consequences.
If Joan consistently sends out only good thoughts and blessings, even when faced with negativity from Other, those negative thoughts—the black birds—will find no place to land on Joan's wall. They will be forced to return to their sender Other, often strengthened by their journey through the turbulent atmosphere of human thought. Meanwhile, Joan's positive thoughts, the white birds, will return to her, amplified by their flight.
Therefore, if Joan consistently sends out only positive thoughts, no negativity, no curse, can truly harm her. By blessing both friend and foe (like Other), the blessing not only travels towards its intended recipient, seeking to create peace, but it also returns to Joan, filled with the goodness it carries.
That sounds really great.
Not easy, but certainly more beneficial in the long run for everyone.
Feeling Abandoned
Years after Jo was publicly chastised in the previous quote, she wrote to Jan Veth, another art critic. Veth gradually became a proponent for Vincent after Jo won him over. Here she writes about how the insults made her feel:
When I came to Holland—completely sure in myself about the great—the indescribable height of that solitary artist life—what I felt then, faced with the indifference that met me on all sides where Vincent and his work was concerned—the burning sense of the whole world against him—I felt so abandoned—that I understood for the first time what he must have felt—in those times where everyone turned against him and it was as if there was no place for him on earth. I wish you could feel what Vincent’s influence on my life has been.
Years later, these words, filled with empathy and understanding, stand in stark contrast to the earlier, dismissive criticisms.
No stones being thrown there.
Warmly,
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